Grandmother Ethel

With most of the news being about politics these days, I think often about our maternal grandmother who was a dedicated Republican in the Eisenhower vein. Her political views stemmed from her intense dislike of Franklin Roosevelt and Harry Truman.

She was disgusted that FDR was on the dime, and when the 10 cent stamps with his bust on them were issued, she was vocal in her contempt. She disliked using the stamps, blaming FDR for the high price of postage and everything else that was wrong with the nation and the world. Whenever his name was mentioned, Ethel always called him a "crook," which was a strong word for her.

Harry Truman got the same treatment. She considered him to be nothing more than a "common little merchant," little better than FDR.

Ethel assumed the role of Clerk of the Court when her husband, who held the office, died suddenly in the mid 1940's. Before every election she sent our parents a sample paper ballot already marked with an X for the proper candidates. They were all Republicans, of course, because in her mind FDR had tainted every last Democrat. They weren't to be trusted.

She spent two decades as Clerk of the Court, and was never opposed in an election. Ethel was proud that of all the county candidates, she always received the highest vote count. She was respected.

Our grandmother was raised near Mobridge in western South Dakota. I think her upbringing included a lot of poverty, but she was reticent about her childhood. Her father eventually became the postmaster in Mobridge, and was in the group that hid Sitting Bull's body after he had been killed by the reservation police.

When we older four children graduated from high school, she had each of us drive with her to South Dakota to meet some of her siblings and see where she was raised. Ethel had a brother who had never done much more than sit in the shade, trading horses and planning searches for lost treasure in the badlands. Lee's wife left him years before because he traded her washing machine for a horse even though they had four children in the house.

We kids loved him. He had magic things that found gold and silver buried in the ground, plus maps that showed where treasure could be found. He was a happy man in his hopes.

Ethel was extremely frugal. Her childhood, plus the Depression and raising four children on a county employee's wage didn't give her a choice. But her frugality paid off in later years. She owned three houses and had cash in the bank when she died.

Her dignity is what set her apart. She was stern but empathetic, and couldn't abide less than stellar behavior.

Ethel had hopes for me, and encouraged me to the watch court sessions when they were held in the evening. Once there was a particularly flashy attorney who was impressive to a high schooler like me.

When my grandmother and I got home, I asked her about the man. She was slow in responding, but eventually answered my question, "Well, he's. . ." (then she paused) "Well, he's 'common.'''

I thought Ethel was being superior because she didn't like him personally, but a few months later he was on the news being disbarred for trading sex for law services in divorce cases. She was right.

When I lived in her house, there were times that her frugality was a point of contention between us. She kept the water heater set to a low temperature, and I often turned it up in order to take a decent bath. Ethel would turn it back down and never say a word. I stayed quiet, also, and we went two or three years without talking about our small difference of opinion.

Ethel died in the mid 1980's. When we cleaned her house we found that she had saved every Christmas and birthday present she ever received. They were still stored in the original display boxes, many with cards that came with them. It was a poignant experience to find small gifts that I had purchased for her twenty years before.

My sisters told me that she had only two dresses in her closet when she died. Ethel wasn't poor, in fact she was comfortable, but couldn't see spending money for anything other than necessities.

She wasn't an affectionate woman, but cared for us more than I realized. Ethel never missed a Christmas or a birthday. Her gifts were always a five-dollar bill for the youngest grandchild to the oldest. The money mattered little, but what made the $5 special was the constancy of her giving. I started getting that same present before I was ten years old, and was still receiving it when I was in my 30's.

I wish I had been able to fully appreciate the woman and her struggles.