From My Perpsective: The Dark Side of Social Media

You know, normally I have an opinion about, well, just about everything. Most of the time I choose not to share most of those opinions and just save a few for this column throughout the year. If I shared my honest opinion right now, about so many things going on in our world, the language alone would have everyone's head spinning – and for the record – I'm not usually a person who uses foul language to describe anything.

I have found myself angry and hurt by so much lately. The death of a man, the eruption of violence across the U.S., the fear for the safety for my family and friends in big cities where looting and rioters have been rampant, the ongoing and heightened divisiveness of the human race and the negativity from so many around me. My heart is heavy and tears are flowing far more frequently than they ever have. In a world where I have always done my best to remain positive, to look for the good, I'm finding it more and more difficult to do so.

This past week I had the privilege of being "social media bullied" on a level I have never experienced before.

For the record, my definition of bullying on social media is this: a person disagrees with your post for whatever reason, they respond to your post using harsh words explaining why you're the bad person for having the beliefs, they call you names and then block you so that you can see what they typed, but can't respond. That, my friends is bullying.

Bullies, down under it all, are nothing but chickens who have a need to feel better about themselves. They need to put others down, defile or humiliate them and generally can't handle a response that might rationally discredit their behavior.

This individual, sadly lives right here in Lincoln. They had the nerve to call me a privileged white racist, when they, themselves are also white. In essence, this individual said I wasn't allowed to be outraged at the death of George Floyd, while also supporting good law enforcement officers and not condoning the violence and looting. This person told me I couldn't feel all three, and that if I didn't pick a side, it made me racist.

Meanwhile, this same person condones the violence against law enforcement officers, and a post they made openly called for the killing of officers.

Does that person have the right to post their views? Sure, we all do. Do I agree with those views? Not a flipping chance. Could I try to understand their side? Generally speaking, yes, but when their side perpetuates the negativity and violence, the taking of another's life, I have to draw the line to protect myself and agree to disagree.

For those of you that don't know me personally, I'm a very empathetic soul. I feel things from people that most people do not. I can walk into a room and if someone in the room is emotionally hurt, down, depressed, I feel it in ways I can't even begin to express. I'm left with an overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry and a pain in my chest that I cannot for the life of me explain.

Now imagine, if I'm that sensitive to other people's emotions, how well do you think I handle my own? I'll tell you. The way I handle them is probably not the most effective way. I bury them, deep. And I put a smile on my face so no one can see how much it hurts. It's no one else's business how much it hurts.

So this week, during my bullying encounter, I couldn't bury it. I couldn't hide it. My other half, who usually just lets things roll when it comes to things like this decided he couldn't just let it go either. He saw how devastated I was by words that shouldn't have affected me at all. I know what kind of person I am. People who really know me know what kind of person I am, and the names this individual called me are not it.

So, what can I do to move forward? I can still choose kindness. I can still be the person I know I am. I can still look for the good in others and around me. The violence and the meanness won't go away because I choose these things.

But the biggest choice I have right now to move forward is this: I choose what I get to focus on. If I continue to focus on good things, they will likely appear. If I continue to focus on the horrible words and the way this person made me feel, I will likely experience similar situations again. No, I choose not to let the words of a petty, sad and angry person affect how I am going to live and feel any longer. I choose to move forward again, past it and into something better they will never understand, and I choose to really smile again without burying the emotions.

I wonder what others would choose to do given the same situation. I wonder if others would choose to move on. I wonder if others would change their focus.

I wonder.