Self Care & Being the Light in Your Own Life

There has been a lot of talk in my world of Facebook, blogs, and books I’ve been gravitating to lately about “self-care.” It seems like such an easy thing, like something we should all just automatically know how to do, right? Well, I’m not exactly sure it’s as easy as it sounds. We get so buried down with the weight of work, responsibilities to our families, friends, sometimes even strangers, there’s little time, or even energy, to practice any type of self-care.

By definition, self-care is just what it says, taking care of one’s self. It comes in many variations. For some, it’s a long, hot bath; for others, it’s reading and getting lost in a good book, jamming out to their favorite tunes, or a spa day. For me, self-care looks like a walk in nature or a horseback ride. In the summer months, it looks like knitting or spinning on the deck with a glass of wine; in the winter months, in my studio with a cup of hot tea or cider.

However self-care looks for you, I encourage you to do far more of it, because if we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves, it becomes very difficult for us to take care of others, and the effects can be very detrimental.

When I don’t take even the smallest amount of time to do the things I love or spend time with the people who fill me up, I feel like everyone knows it. That’ probably an exaggeration, but it’s how I feel. I notice myself short-tempered, out-of-sorts and sometimes just plain mean. I’m learning to recognize the signs before they get too far out of control, but it’s taken me quite some time to get there.

Something that made me think of self-care again was that I had a friend post recently on Facebook. He’s someone I went to school with and have known since first grade. I’m grateful that social media has allowed us to stay connected through the years, along with several other friends who I grew up with, and I was especially grateful for his message.

This friend recently had some very serious health issues having to do with his heart. He’s since undergone surgery and had just completed a milestone that for some of us would be just a hike, but until recently, he couldn’t walk more than a couple of hundred yards and this hike up a hill was an incredible achievement.

Once he reached the top of the hill, he shared a video encouraging people he knew not to live in fear. Yes, I know some of you will automatically jump to a conclusion and think that not living in fear is a political thing or meant to be about COVID or this or that. It’s not.

What it is, is this. By living in fear, we limit ourselves and fear can even paralyze us into not doing anything at all. In my case, I’m afraid of anything technological. Designing my website scared the heck out of me. Why? Honestly, I fear it because it makes me feel like I’m not smart enough to do it. I tend to not do things I’m scared of. Therefore, my website was stagnant for more than a year. The saving grace: I wrote an article for a big fiber arts magazine that featured my pattern as a free download to those with the code in this magazine. I was still scared, but deadlines will knock even the biggest of fears out of the park, or at least set them on the sidelines. My other saving grace in that instance was someone who could understand how to make coupon codes work on a website, who happens to also be a very good friend and who offered to help. I’m also generally afraid to ask for help too, because I feel like I should be able to do all the things. I realize this is a big character flaw, and one I’m overcoming a little at a time. I guess it’s a good thing this person just jumped right in and helped, huh?

So, I realize I am not the only person living with or in fear.

But let me ask you (just like I’ve been asking myself), where has living in fear gotten you? What things have you missed out on because you were afraid?

Another part of my friend’s message encouraged people he knew to be the light. A lot of people would assume or presume that means being the light in someone else’s life – it’s the first conclusion I jumped to, mostly because I think the world needs a lot more lightness and a lot less darkness, but that’s for another conversation down the road. After thinking about it, what it really said to me is that I need to be the light in my own life. By being the light in my own life, just imagine the light I could spread throughout the world. It goes along with the self-care theory above. Taking care of yourself, or in this case being the light in your own life, not only benefits you, it benefits everyone around you.

So, let me ask you, in what ways could you be the light in your own life, or maybe in someone else’s?

It makes me wonder about all the good and light we can be in this very strange world.

This week, the Christmas holiday is upon us. Some of us will be gathering with friends, with family, or going it alone. My wish for you all, no matter how you spend this holiday is to be the light, to overcome some fears, and to head into the New Year with some new clarity of how you can take care of you, and light up the life you choose to live.