Life is too short

Life is too short to live in a negative state of anything. It’s too short to live in pain, it’s too short to live in fear, and t’s definitely too short to keep wishing for time to go by. Believe me, it goes by quickly enough all on its own without wishing the time away. It’s too short to argue about things that don’t matter, and it’s too short to surround yourself with people who don’t see or appreciate your value. It’s also too short to be stuck doing things that don’t bring you joy, or make a difference in this world somehow.

Life is about living. It’s about being happy. It’s about doing things that matter to you. Whether that’s taking a walk in nature, changing the world, fulfilling your dreams that no one else understands, or trying something no one has ever heard of. We weren’t put on this earth to just get by, we were put here to live. I see so many people, both in Lincoln and as I travel and teach, who have no spark in their eyes and are just existing. I’m not sure if that’s how they were raised or if decisions and situations in their lives lead them to that place, but my honest hope for them is that somehow they can find something meaningful to bring them some joy, because life is just too damn short to live in a constant state of misery.

After being a person in constant, unrelenting pain for the last seven months, I’m here to tell you, life is too short to live that way. It took some doing, but since the day of my surgery, my shoulder hasn’t had any pain, my elbow is tender at the long incision site, but it’s not what I would call painful, or at least the same kind of pain as before. Muscle soreness here and there, sure, it’s to be expected when the muscles, tendons, and nerves are torn and have been stitched up, but the pain I was in, this is nothing like it. Now that I really can feel what it’s like to not be in pain, I plan to enjoy every moment of it.

I also used to be one of those wishers of time to pass. At the beginning of a work day, I would wish for the end of the day. On Mondays, I would wish for Fridays. On Fridays, I would wish for long weekends. When I had to do things I disliked, I wished for the time I would no longer have to do them. Part of my wishing my time away was the fact I was just doing a job, or had agreed to do something I really didn’t want to because I felt obligated to the person or group asking. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for the jobs and the opportunities to help where I could, but doing a job just to bring home a paycheck, in my opinion, is a really sad and difficult way to live, and saying yes when you really don’t want to do something isn’t being true to yourself.

The problem at that timewas that I needed the paycheck and I wasn’t even really sure what brought me joy or where my own truth really lived. I think a lot of people are in the same boat. Now, I’m being far more conscientious about where I spend my time, my energy and the jobs I agree to take.

When I moved to Montana, I wished for a time when I could go home. Now, Montana, and especially Lincoln, is home. I also used to wish winter would end pretty much the day it began, and wish summer would last longer. Now, I’m pretty content with the weather in Lincoln; it inevitably changes in a few minutes (although I will say Old Man Winter and Mother Nature are playing some pretty mean weather tricks on us lately). No matter, I can’t change it, so I should just embrace what’s there and appreciate it and whatever weather comes next.

When I say life is too short to argue about things that don’t matter, I’m not implying at all that we shouldn’t set boundaries and stand up for what we believe in. But when I hear people argue about the name of the color on the wall, or the way socks are folded and the way the bed is made, I think to myself, “what a complete waste of time and energy; just let the small stuff go.”

Spending time with people who don’t understand you, want to use you and don’t comprehend the value you bring to the table is also a miserable way to live a life. The problem is that - and I may be speaking from experience - often times those people are family or even friends we’ve chosen for ourselves. And it’s really, really difficult to break free. My advice - and again I may be speaking from some personal experience here - find just one person who believes in you and wants nothing but the best for you. Sometimes that’s a really hard thing to do, especially when you’re feeling beaten down. Ideally, you would think that person would be a family member, but sadly that isn’t always the case. If you can think of it in a way or realize that those people aren’t really doing those things to hurt you, they are literally doing the best they can with what they have at this very moment in time, it’s a little easier to forgive them and find what you need elsewhere. Note that by forgiving them you’re not excusing their behavior; rather you’re leaving it with them and allowing yourself to move and on to find you and your own tribe, the people who get you and accept you for you and really only want the best for you.

And for you cynics out there, yes, those people do actually exist. It might take some time, but once you find that person or those people, let their belief in you help make you strong. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it.

My wish for everyone is that they get to live a life that brings them joy and that they’re able to find the things that do – because really, life is far too short to live any other way.