Giving and Receiving Grace

I’ve been on quite the whirlwind of adventures this last month. I’ve traveled to Idaho, Whitehall, Alaska, Eureka and recently just down the road from my house to this past weekend’s Lincoln Arts and Music Festival.

During these travels, I’ve encountered many people and many situations where I was reminded how important it is to not only receive a little grace, but to extend a little grace to others myself.

Most encounters with the people I interacted with were positive. There were a few interactions where folks were short-tempered or grumpy. My normal reaction would have been to be polite, and then when they were gone, gripe about them.

This past year, I’ve tried to make a very conscious effort to treat everyone with a little extra grace. I have no idea what they may have encountered right before they made their way into our interaction. I don’t know if they’ve just had an argument with someone, whether they have a health issue that is weighing on them, have a family member who is sick, or worse, had just lost someone close to them. They may have just had to deal with something stressful, or maybe they are naturally just grumpy people. Whatever the case or their reason, they still deserve to be treated well.

By choosing to offer them kindness and a little grace, I have not only honored them, but I honored myself as well. I’ve been treating people more the way I would like to be treated. When it comes down to it, remembering that we are all just trying to do the best we can with what we have is important. It’s even more important now, in a world that, in my opinion, seems to have lost its marbles.

Let’s face it, we live in a world where we seem to be taught a little more every day that it’s okay to blame others. It’s okay to get angry at people and treat them badly. We’re being taught that if people aren’t just like us or do and act like one another they are wrong. They need to be changed, they need to conform, or we do.

What if instead of comparing and dividing, and being right or wrong, we offered a little grace and let people be who they are, not take it personally when they aren’t like us and maybe learn new things about one another? I think that by learning about our differences, we also learn how much more alike we are than we may have thought.

By giving grace to others and those around us to be who they are, to make mistakes or even have a bad day, I find it decreases my stress, the need to gripe, and reminds me that I’m not perfect either.

When I extend grace to others, I’ve found that I’m also more able to extend some to myself as well and cut myself a break. Often, the person we are hardest on is ourselves. Our “self-talk” so to speak, is one of the most encouraging or detrimental voices we listen to. Most days, the way I talk to myself is pretty good, but like everyone else, I slip up. I go from reminding myself “I’ve got this,” to “Why did I do something so stupid?” And often, everything in between.

Also, if I look at my accomplishments rather than all the stuff I didn’t do right, I find it really has an impact of how I continue to speak to myself about me. The more I focus on what is going right, the more “right” things seem to happen. If I can slow down, just a little, and remember that I too am doing the best I can, it really helps.

By the same token, when we’re offered a little grace, such as a compliment, respectful attitudes, a smile, a kind word, or even someone letting us have a bad day, it’s important to remember those people have chosen to be gentler in an often not-gentle world. They’ve chosen the peace that comes with extending a moment of grace towards you.

So my reminder to everyone this week is to practice a little grace. It’s a new technique for many. Give yourself a little grace as you implement it into your own life in a way that works for you, and then extend it to others and watch it come back to you in unexpected, beautiful ways.