From My Perspective: My Life in Stitche

Something occurred to me this past week that I thought I would share with you all.

As most of you know, I knit (among many other fiber-related activities). I knit small things and large things; items for myself, but mostly gifts for others. I knit at home, in the car (only when I’m a passenger, I promise), out on our deck, and when I’m out, even in the bar. I find the process soothing, sometimes challenging, occasionally frustrating, but most of all, when I’m done, it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

It got me to thinking about how knitting is a lot like life. For those of you who don’t knit, please hear me out - I think you might be surprised.

You see, a shawl, sweater, hat, scarf and more don’t become those things overnight (unless of course you’re a speed-knitter). For purposes of this column, and what I like to knit most, I’m going to be referring to shawls.

My shawls most definitely do not become one over night. Like life they take time, effort, concentration and more.

Generally they begin with a small number of stitches, then stitches are added or created, often only four stitches at a time, every other row, It seems like nothing to add four stitches every other row until you’ve knit 40 rows and added 80 stitches. Some of these shawls grow to include over 500 stitches on the needle before the project can be completed.

Like shawls where stitches are added, we add new things to our life to create a larger, more complete version of it. Sometimes we add experiences, other times we add members to our family. But mostly we add memories - and memories, not things, are what we get to take with us when our time is through. They are what we leave behind us when we go. They are the things people talk about when we’re no longer here.

Don’t believe me? Here’s an example: I still have the large afghan one of my grandmas made me when I was a child, and I have throws and wraps the other grandma made for my mom when they bought a new house. There’s something very comforting in looking at these items, and when I use them they bring back memories of both of these incredible women. If people see these items in my home, I get to share the stories and memories of these ladies, my childhood and all the memories surrounding them.

Sometimes in knitting, there will be dropped or missed stitch in the work. Usually, knitters want to go back and fix the mistake. There are several methods one can use to do this. There’s back knitting, also referred to as “tink-ing” (knit spelled backwards), “frogging” it, which simply means ripping it out, or, sometimes, the mistake is just left there because it isn’t worth going back to fix.

It reminds me that in life, it is often two steps forward, one step back, falling back completely, or it’s not worth going back for at all. Regardless of which option a knitter chooses, they learn along the way, just like we do in life. And sometimes in both, one has to take a couple of steps back, adjust and move that one step forward. It’s part of the process.

Other knitting terms that relate to life… lifelines, cables, and stitch-markers.

Lifelines are yarns of different colors inserted in the project where there aren’t any mistakes. Then, if a mistake is made six rows ahead, and it can’t be fixed, the whole project isn’t ruined. Knitters simply take their work back to the point of the lifeline and then move forward again. I like to equate lifelines to friends. Friends, the good ones, hold you in place, catch you when you fall and help you keep your footing to move forward.

Cables, which are twisted stitches to create a pattern, remind me that there are twists and turns in life. Sometimes we don’t think this jumbled mess will amount to anything, but after the twist, the stitches even out and relax, and so can we.

Stitch-markers, placed in various points in a knitting project, help one remember that something needs to be done, like adding a stitch, changing the stitch pattern or just holding our place. Some of those markers are put at the beginning of a row and contain numbers to count the rows. Stitch-markers, keep you grounded and in place in case you need to leave your project for a while and come back to it when you’re ready. In life, my stitch-markers remind me that not everything has to be done right now. They’ll keep my place until I’m ready to come back to whatever it is, whenever I can.

Sometimes, I knit in public, and sometimes, in more intricate projects, I need the time alone to really focus. In life, we sometimes want the company of others, while other times, we need our quiet time alone to sort things out before we can face the public world again. It’s okay to need the company of others, and it’s okay to need just the company of ourselves to get through this thing called life.

What you get at the end of a project, it is a completed item. At the end of it, and our lives, we get to remember the time spent with it, time spent doing or living it. If we’re lucky, we can look back and see we created something beautiful, something worth leaving behind, a gift to ourselves and one another.